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He'd have been infinitely better off focusing on those rather than facing what had happened.Shit happened. He knew that, really. His wasn't the most tragic story he's heard while he was in Iraq -- and he hadn't been there that long. He honestly thought he wasn't getting any worse -- although he was getting better at hiding his true feelings. How many people think you're BSing them when you're spilling your guts about how your first ever girlfriend tore your guts out -- when you actually had put it behind you years ago?That incident could have -- should have -- taught him a lot about karma that sucked. Mary Alice hadn't left him for his best friend -- she'd left him for the asshole that had made his life miserable since second grade. That should have told him all he needed to know about what sort of a person Mary Alice had been. That was the first clue about human relations when he'd realized what had caused their breakup.The guy, Dwayne, had gotten a job as a production assistant on. The river flowed without me. It held memories of lunches that would never be repeated. I ate, I walked and I brooded. I tried to use music to change my mood. It was all dull and lifeless. I was dull and lifeless. Everything I had I invested in Amber. She took it all with her. ‘Long time, Mark,’ Tracy said brightly when I entered Stained LIfe. I faked a smile and said hello. I had decided I needed a treasure hunt to get me going again. I wanted to love my art again. At least it had little chance of disappointing me. It certainly wouldn’t lie to me or take me for a fool. ‘I thought you may have moved or something,’ Tracy continued as she moved out from behind the counter. Wonderful, now I had disappointed her. I guess coming in once a week for years made me reliable. I was shirking my duties. ‘No,’ I said too strongly. I corrected my tone, ‘I had some things I had to deal with.’ I kept my fake smile hoping she wouldn’t think less of me. At least my relationship with her was easy to.
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